2010 World Cup driving tips for visitors

by DaveS 16th March 2010, 07:46

Since we are nearing the world cup... we should give tourists tips about travelling on our roads....

RULES FOR DRIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA
1. Never indicate - this will give away your next move. A real south African driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you
and the car in front of you, this space will be filled by at least 2 taxis
and a BMW, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have
of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and
it will only result in you being rear-ended.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your
legs.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to
check if the people entering the highway are awake.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. They are
especially not applicable in South Africa during rush hour. That's why it's
called 'rush hour....'

8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or
move over doesn't mean that a South African driver flashing his high beams behind
you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tyre. Never stop to help - you will be mugged.

10. Learn to swerve abruptly. South Africa is the home of the high-speed shalom
driving thanks to the government, which puts holes in key locations to
test drivers' reflexes and keeps them on their toes.

11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move
the instant the light turns green. This prevents storks from building nests
on top of the traffic light and birds from making deposits on your car.

12. Remember that the goal of every South African driver is to get there first, by
whatever means necessary.

13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection
after the light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic
principle that causes the big traffic jams during rush hour.

Now guys go out there today and make South Africa proud!!!