Desperate

Hi, this is my first use ever of a forum so here goes.
I was recently discussing a predicament with Richard a.k.a. “Chainsaw” H regarding an off road trip that I wanted to do next year. Now, I have first hand experience of the excessive noise that he makes in his sleep having had to recently share a room with him. Let me tell you – if your bike made as much noise on the road you would be charged for driving in a manner to create excessive noise. Yes, it is as bad as that. However, I digress – back to the point of this post.

The main issue is that I have an R1200RT which is great for on-road riding but which I find quite temperamental off-road, especially when trying to traverse dongos. He had suggested something like his tractor, sorry I mean 1200GS, but I find this bike a bit too big, especially if tripping solo. The other problem is that bikes don’t come cheap and there is no way that I would part with my RT. Therefore I would need a second bike.
After more discussion with Richard we hit upon a possible solution, and so here goes;

Advert (are we allowed to advertise on a forum Madam Administrator?) OK, well here goes : White male between ages of 50 – 62 hardworking and adventurous; seeks female companion 35 – 55, with or without children, must have a sense of humour (I don’t know why, but all these ads to seem to say this) looks don’t matter; a farm in the Free State would be an advantage though; must own a F650GS or F800GS; looking for long term relationship, well as long as the bike lasts anyway; no chancers or owners of 1200GSs please. Please reply on this posting – a picture of the bike would be appreciated.

Looks not important? Well, she does hide behind the visor. And if you're pillion on her bike you won't see her face in any case. But then, the bod must be OK - to hold onto during the braking moves. There must be something to hold onto!

Why not the 1200's? Only the big girls riding 1200's? Come on man, a girl on any Beemer will do!

Oh yes, I am female and I am not...